Thursday, November 17, 2011

i'm gonna be frank, what a horrible morning

Well, a few days ago i started to feel that my left ear was hurting and it felt stuffed, like closed shut.  (NO IT'S NOT WAX BUILD UP, I CLEAN MY EARS OUT EVERYDAY!!) My sinuses have been killing me and now i think it's given me an ear infection,.  I had an appointment last night for counseling, and afterwards my mom was harassing me to go to Urgent Care and get it looked at.  My feelings on urgent care? horrible.  There's a new doctor everytime, you wait forever, get sicker by the moment, go in another room to wait, then go in another room where you're weighed and reminded how fat (usually) you got since the last time you were sick.  I've found myself wondering, "does 3 pounds come with each new age in this era of my life?"
Then you go wait, see the doctor for 3 minutes, they leave for 30.  They always come back as your getting up getting ready to go find them in fear they forgot about you, hand you a piece of paper and it's over.
Wait, i'm sorry.  It's not near over, because then you have to go to the pharmacy to get it filled, joy!And after all that stress is caused, you all of a sudden start to feel better, your eye doesn't hurt, or that razorblade in your throat feeling has passed... and you haven't even taken your medicine yet! LOL , i swear, same thing everytime!
Anyhow, i didn't see the doctor because i wanted to get home (stupid) and i knew we had eardrops here (which helped tremendously).  I have docycline that i was prescribed for my skin forever go, it's an antibotic like amoxicilin (used all the time for treating strep throat and ear infections).  I fucking hope it works, excuse my french.

My sidewalk design..
My head is jammed full, i can't hear out of my left ear, my eardrum feels like it's going to explode (i'm actually gonna put some ear-drops in now, and try taking some Mucinex). Ugh, I really feel miserable, and the thing is --- today I have shit to do, and places to go.  I have an appointment at 1:30 with my stupid psychiatrist.  I can't stand going there.  And especially today-- it's DI-SCUS-TING OUTSIDE! Oh, and i didn't get to sleep until 3 a.m.  Marybeth and I hung out from 11-2 a.m. just "art-ing" our little asses off.  I don't even remember what all i did either, that's the funny part.

Pulled out some chalk during my cig break.

Have you ever felt used by a best friend? Like they only hang around you when they need cigarettes or a place to hangout? Or maybe they only need you when they're jobless and going through a self-esteem-crushing break-up? Do you feel like you're the one in the group that's stepped on? Or do you feel you're the person that does the stepping? That's the deep thought of the day.. Really think about the relationships you hold why they're there, what you bring to the relationship? what does the other person bring to the relationship? What makes you 2 get along so well? Opposites or Exacts? Is the relationship fair?
Reevaluating friendships is sometimes a necessity to me.  In the past i've found myself hanging out with really bad people, for years.  I slowly lost my self-esteem, and the real, genuine, sweet, funny, loving, persevered, beautiful Lauren... and i became a robot to what all my friends did.  I didn't really speak my mind in highschool because i felt stupid.  I didn't think anything i had to say was special.. nor that i was special or anything important, most the time i felt like a failure.  Well i've made a lot of changes, however, i still get concerned about being hurt by friends.  Well, I have every right to feel that way, and i 'll continue to practice on it.  Friendships are even.
I'm in a horoscope-mood today, it must be the rainy weather..BEHOLD, one of my favorite horoscope websites:: (will pop up in a fresh window) Multiple categorized horoscopes for each sign, daily! I can't lie though, i'm really trying to find another website for horoscopes, sometimes i feel like that site doesn't really have accurate ones for me ever.

I painted my fingers and toes, colors of the week go to
and .......SALLY HANSON HD - DVD.
For my fingers- i did a coat of sally hansen xtreme wear, Green with envy.  On top of the green with envy (after it dries), i swiped a thin layer of Sally Hansen HD in dvd on top of the green with envy.  It makes a mermaid-looking green with really pretty shine.  For my toes i only did green with envy.  I love the color green, it just screams TINKERBELL, so of cousre i love it! It also goes on great, stays on great, and it's only $3-4 at drugstores. Thank god for Sally!

xoxo pray for my ear infection and that i don't cuss out my psych today.Craft Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory

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